Relationship-Journal, Couples Counseling Today, Highland Park, IL

Daily Relationship Journal

Writing down your thoughts, feelings and reactions is an essential step in gaining perspective and creating change. Find a notebook that is small enough to carry with you, but big enough to easily write in. Use this Relationship Journal to write down your feelings about your relationship, about relationships in general, your observations about other people’s relationships, as well as your reactions to counseling. Keep a record of this important time by journaling about your thoughts, feelings, and reactions as you take in and begin using new tools for change.

Where am I now in my relationship?

Begin by finishing the set of sentence starters below. These are intended to stimulate your thinking and feelings about “where you are” in your relationship. Take some time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, wants and needs and complete each sentence below with an honest and spontaneous completion of the sentence.

1. I tend to deny

2. I am happiest when

3. Sometimes I

4. What makes me angry is

5. I wish

6. I hate it when

7. I would give anything if my partner would

8. Sometimes

9. I would be more lovable if

10. My mother and father

11. If only I had

12. My best quality is

13. Sometimes at night

14. When I was a child

15. My worst trait is

16. My life really changed when

17. If my relationships ends it will be because

18. My partner hates it when

19. My partners greatest fear is

20. I feel lonely when

21. I am afraid

22. I love

23. We use to laugh more because

24. It would be best if friends

25. I feel fake when

26. I can’t forgive

27. I find it hard to

28. Together we

29. What surprises me is

30. I believe

31. Other people think

32. Men

33. Women

34. I regret

35. It doesn’t pay to

36. It helps me when we

37. If only

38. We never seem to

39. After we argue I wish

40. If only I could

Relationship Problem Areas

Check off the problem areas where you are struggling the most and then write a few words that describes the essence or core of the problem. Then number the areas in order of the most problematic to the least problematic from your point of view.

Household chores

Mutual Goals

Harshness

Lack of Passion

Time Together

Boredom

Addictive behavior

Infidelity

In-laws

Criticisms

General Relationship Problems

Money/Finances

Sexual Relationship

Communication

Lack of Intimacy

Jealousy

Rage

Lack of Trust

Children

Mutual Interests

Parenting

Couples Counseling Today

Contact Julienne Derichs

Call 773-562-3074 or email me at CouplesCounselingToday@gmail.com

Contact Julienne Derichs

Call 773-562-3074 or email me at CouplesCounselingToday@gmail.com

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The Magic Wand

This is a journaling exercise. Get out your relationship journal and find somewhere private and quiet. Imagine you now possess a magic wand that can instantly and permanently transform both you and your partner so that you can enjoy the satisfying level of connection – intellectual, emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual – that you both deserve. Imagine a scene that captures your relationship as you would ideally like it to be, with all areas of intimacy unblocked and open. The scene you envision could be as simple as the two of you strolling down a beach, holding hands and talking, or one in which you share some deep concern with your partner and he responds with kindness and understanding. Don’t try conjuring up something grand and extravagant. Instead, picture and interaction that embodies you and your partner being happy with each other.

Write the answers to these questions:

What is the scene you’ve envisioned?

In the scene, what qualities are present in each of you that are lacking now?

In the scene, what is it like to get from your partner what you’ve been wishing for? What is it like to express qualities you may not be currently expressing?

With the scene as your guide, make a list of the five most important changes you want to see in your relationship.

Intimacy Inventory

Intimacy is not a concrete concept; it is a quality in a relationship that takes on many forms. The common thread being feelings of closeness among partners in a relationship. Intimacy and healthy relationships go hand in hand, yet everyone has different ideas about how intimacy is created.

According to your own personal perception, assess how well you share yourself and how well you receive what your partner shares with you in the five areas of intimacy.

1. poor 2. infrequent or difficult 3. fair 4. consistently good 5. excellent

Intellectual: The mutual sharing of ideas in respectful nonjudgmental ways.

You: Sharing Yourself ________ Receiving _______