Guidelines for Weekly Couples Meeting                                                                                                        Back to Articles


A couples meeting helps couples reconnect on a regular basis. It prevents problems from building and escalating. It keeps a household running smoothly and helps couples work as a team. Schedule a weekly relationship meeting. All couples need to have a routine for helping each other stay focused or accountable for the health of their relationship.


  • Make a commitment to meet weekly in a private and safe place.

  • Keep the meeting to less than 45 minutes.

  • Don’t meet when either of you are hungry, irritable or exhausted.

  • Avoid discussing sensitive topics and bigger challenges for your first few meetings. For instance, bring up easier-to-resolve concerns during the first three to five meetings. 

  • A good goal for each meeting is that it inspires another one the following week.


Expressing Appreciation


Set a positive tone by each partner taking turns talking about what they appreciated about the other partner during the previous week. 

For instance, you might say, 

“I really appreciated you listening to me vent about work on Friday,” 
“I felt good when you turned off the phone so we could talk,” or 
“I appreciated you going to the grocery store and making dinner yesterday.”


Discussing Chores

Each partner talks about the chores on their to-do list. Together, you decide which tasks will be tackled next week, and which tasks can wait.

Next, you figure out who will perform or delegate each task. Then you discuss your progress with the tasks from the previous meetings.

If talking about a certain task becomes too emotional, move that conversation to the last part of your meeting.


Planning for Good Times


Couples schedule a weekly date, family outings, vacations, get-togethers with friends and at least one enjoyable activity they do on their own as a couple. Partners present their ideas and brainstorm together. Then couples decide on the activities and schedule them.

Couples dates can be anything from taking a long walk to having coffee at your favorite café to packing a picnic for a concert in the park.



Resolving Problems and Challenges


In the last portion of your meeting, partners pick one or two issues they’d like to discuss. While you’re talking about the issue, your spouse listens fully. Once you feel like your spouse has understood and heard you, your partner can respond. Then you brainstorm solutions.

  • Don’t attack your partner. Instead, address the specific problems. 

  • Use “I” statements, such as “I like,” “I’d rather not,” “I feel” or “What I would like instead is.”

  • As an alternative to blaming your spouse make a request.


In the end, you might reach an agreement, decide to continue the conversation at your next meeting or accept that the problem can’t be resolved and you’ll both learn to live with it (such as a partner’s trait).


This is a time when you also might realize that an issue is causing a rift in your relationship, bring these issues into your next couples or individual counseling session.

  • If there’s time, you can tackle another issue, and go through the same process.

  • End the meeting on a positive note by describing 2 or 3 things you both handled well during the meeting. 

  • Then do something you enjoy, either together or individually.





Here is a guideline for you to use in your couples meetings. 



Couples Meeting Agenda                                                                                                                                                                            

Date/Time/Location:


Expressing Appreciation

I appreciate ___________________________________________________________________________

I appreciate ___________________________________________________________________________

I appreciate ___________________________________________________________________________


Discussing Chores

        “TO DO”                                                                           WHO IS DOING?                                                                              WHEN?  












Planning For Good Times

Next Couples Date: 

Next Family Outing:

Upcoming Vacation:

Upcoming Get-Togethers with Friends:


Present your ideas and brainstorm new ones.





Resolving Problems and Challenges

  • Don’t attack your partner. Instead, address the specific problems. 

  • Use “I” statements, such as “I like,” “I’d rather not,” “I feel” or “What I would
          like instead is.”

  •   As an alternative to blaming your spouse, make a request.


First problem/challenge I’d like to discuss: 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What do I want my spouse to hear most about this?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Second problem /challenge I’d like to discuss:

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What do I want my spouse to hear most about this?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

End the meeting on a positive note by describing 2 or 3 things 
you both handled well during the meeting.

1.

2.

3.



Next Meeting Date and Time:


Topics to be continued at next meeting:






Keep Up the Good Work!
Couples Counseling Today
Contact Julienne Derichs 
Call 773-562-3074 or email me at CouplesCounselingToday@gmail.com
All session are currently offered via online video conferencing called teletherapy, so if you have a telephone or a computer and an Internet connection, teletherapy may be an option for you.
Here are some guidelines to help you get started.